Diary of Julia - 1

"       I have reached a time in my life when I am just not happy. I expected everything to be great this time last year, but it is a fucking disappoiment. I am constantly sad and constantly feeling lonley .. and incomplete. I just cannot have everything that makes me happy pulled together so I just obsses over one thing that makes me feel safe and I use it until it gets boring.
        It is chaos in my life and I might be depressed It may be because I am feeling like a disappoiment to my parents and family ; or it may be because I did not find a place where I belong. 
         I am searching but I do not know what am I searching for. I am a little bit lost.
Where is this life suppose to take me? Any purpose coming out of it? Or is existence so random and there is no reason to even try to question it? "

-Diary of Julia (fragments)-